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Copyright © 2000 by M. Hilton Taylor. All Rights Reserved by T.A.M.S. It ain’t rocket science . . . is it. |
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Clothing is important when riding. The “shorts and sandals preppie look” may appear cool while you ride that sleek, long, and lean cruiser. Go down, and that slide down the asphalt will erase a tan quicker than you can imagine, not mentioning the skin that turns up missing. Halter tops and tank tops look cool but don’t help much when sliding on the ground. Sandals, shorts, and a ball cap are great for a ball game, but are not considered protective equipment for riding. They will guarantee you a good case of road rash if you happen to fall. Not the kind of assurance you want. Test indicate that thick leather will last about 20 yards, ballistic nylon about 10 – 20 yards, denim about 5 yards, and human skin about 2 inches. It’s your choice? I always opt for the protective safety equipment. They say “clothes make the man”, but I say “improper clothes can make the man hurt!” Remember, if cool is more important than safety when you are riding, then be sure to keep that hospitalization policy paid up and tattoo your next of kin on your arm to make it easy on the paramedics! Dress in layers so you can adjust your clothing to match the temperature. When the weather is hot exposed skin promotes dehydration by allowing the water to be wicked away from your body while it is trying to cool you down. It does not hurt to wet your shirt on hot days to help with the cooling process, even if you are not in a wet t-shirt contest. Keeping cool is a lot different than being cool. You can be cool by wearing some slick shades and turning up your collar while riding. To keep cool and also stay protected from a fall you can ride in a ventilated jacket or mesh jacket that will allow the air to pass through to your skin. You can also keep cool by putting ice in plastic bags and putting them inside of your jacket. Staying dry in the rain when you forgot your rain suit may not win you any fashion awards but you can stay dry. You can use a large plastic bag like a poncho, but be sure you cut a hole for your head to go through. Without this hole it is very difficult to ride. If you are truly into fashion you can also create some matching plastic bag shoes and gloves and draw a little design on the bag like the designer wear. Bonus points if you were smart enough to remember that rain suit and gloves. You will be much better off. Using some plastic gloves under your leather gloves will keep your hands from turning black. This will keep you from looking like you are still wearing your gloves even after you take them off. Thicker plastic gloves from a local department store will keep you hands dry and offer some protection in case of a fall. For the height disadvantaged I mention good boots. You can add a little length to your legs by wearing good boots with a thick sole and heel. I would avoid the stiletto heels even if they do wonders for the look of your legs. Boots can make you a little taller but they can also keep your feet warm and safe. If you are still not tall enough you might try stretching or using a more narrow seat on the bike. The seat usually works better than the stretching. There are many good seats today to lower you, push you forward, give you more length, and have good back support. Whatever your choice be sure those boots cover your precious ankle bones. Yuppie riding in shorts and sandals give you that well dressed; I’ve got a Harley look. You are cool. You are not sweating and boots are not comfortable on a hot day. Sure they are a little uncomfortable when it is hot, but not as uncomfortable as an ankle bone dragged down the asphalt at 30 mph. Riding boots are the best choice for riding, even though it is hot. Sandals do not offer much protection from hot pipes, stray rocks flying at the speed of bullets, and asphalt rash. The pipes are hotter than the frying pan you use to cook your steaks . . . not to mention no one likes cooked shin. Jackets are very important when it is cold or if you fall while riding. A good leather jacket will last a lifetime so invest in the best jacket you can afford. It will not only keep you warm on those cold days, but will fit better when you are riding so it will be more comfortable. Leather will protect you from the elements such as rain and if you are unfortunate to go down . . . the elements of asphalt. Even James Dean wore a leather jacket, so they must be cool and stylish. Be sure the jacket has a leather wind seal behind the zipper to keep the wind and rain from getting through the zipper. Helmets, are they necessary? Some want a right to decide because it is a freedom. Some states make it a law. Some states let you choose. Some people think the little beanie helmets (a piece of plastic with a little foam rubber) are a creative way to comply with the law. These helmets are sometimes referred to as brain buckets, though I am not sure why. Wearing one of these would seem to indicate you do not have enough brains to need a bucket. It is amazing that few would ever think of playing football without a helmet and shoulder pads because they need to be protected from a 300 lbs linebacker trying to run through them. Since force equals mass times acceleration this 300 lb player running 10 mph would create a force of 3,000 lbs. A 200 lb person on a motorcycle running 60 mph would create a force of 12,000 lbs against an object. What do you think? Helmets are a favorite accessory for your head and nine out of ten heads approve of the use of helmets. There is a simple way to decide. Hit yourself in the head with a wooden mallet while wearing a helmet and then do it without the helmet. See which one you like better. You may want to hit yourself while wearing the helmet first so you can finish the test. Yes you do have the right to choose and you may survive the crash, but why take the chance. There may be someone that likes you even if you do not like yourself. Remember the old expression it is all fun and games until someone loses an eye? Eye wear and shields help protect you from the sun, the wind, and more importantly the bug trying to commit suicide that misses the windshield. Be sure the glasses are impact resistant because these kamikaze bugs have been known to cause temporary to permanent blindness, not to mention they really hurt. If you ride without a windshield then glasses become even more important since there is not much for the bug to hit except for you or those skinny handle bars. Handlebars are not much protection from flying objects. Gloves are kind of hot in the summer time. They do offer protection from flying objects and help prevent blisters from the rubber grips. If you do not want to wear gloves or think they are not important then be sure if you do go down, to keep those hands off of the ground. They do not make good brakes and if they rub across the ground long you will not be able to spoon up Grandma’s banana pudding very well. There some styles of gloves that have perforations that are much cooler and also offer some protection. One plus for falling without gloves . . . it is hard to take your finger prints. If you are one of those fanatics that ride sport bikes and have an Evil Knivel fantasy then you will probably want to go for some other optional equipment. When get into extreme riding you need extreme equipment. You might need full leathers, elbow, knee, and shoulder armor, full coverage helmet with shield, and a tall set of boots. This will at least give you a sliding or bouncing chance when you do one of those fancy stunts you’ve seen on TV and it does not work. Then maybe you will have a chance get up with a smile and say, “I meant to do that!” Sunscreen is like wearing clothes you can’t see. It keeps the sun from cooking your skin while you are riding cool in that shirt with the sleeves ripped off. Don’t forget your face because it gets a lot of sun from being exposed all day. Who knows, it may keep your skin smooth so you can enjoy that movie star face a little longer; otherwise you may look like a grape that has been in the sun too long. Remember sunscreen does not last forever like a diamond; you have to keep replenishing it during the day. Make sure you cover all of the spots, because the sun has a way of finding any of those places and leaves you with a nice burn. Ever tried to get the keys out of your pocket after you put on your chaps? Using a carbiner clip to hold your keys and attach them to a loop on your jacket or chaps will make this much easier and keep them secure. It is kind of like having a chain on your wallet. It not only gives you a little security for your wallet, but also gives you something to grab so you can pull it from your pocket. You could also carry your wallet in your jacket if you are wearing one. If you ride a bike that does not require the key to be left in the ignition then you can put it on a chain around your neck to keep it handy. Winter riding is great if you can stay warm and safe. Be sure you watch for signs of hypothermia and frost bite. They have a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. It is easy to dress correctly when you leave home, but if you get caught without your warm clothes and it turns cold you can still stay warm enough to make it home. Rubber gloves with a little insulation to keep the cold out will keep your hands warm. Tucking newspaper inside of your pants may make your legs turn black but they offer good insulation against the cold. You can also use newspaper inside of a light jacket. Just put some newspaper around your torso and then make a shirt from a plastic garbage bag (preferably unused) to cover the newspaper and keep out the cold air. Then cover it all up with the light jacket. You may feel a little stupid but you will be much warmer than you think. It also makes pretty good body armor in case of a fall and if you use the comic section you can make good on the joke “see you in the funny papers”. |